It’s been an interestingly calm yet somewhat emotional couple of weeks.
It started with a holiday on Hamilton Island, in Queensland’s tropical north. For those that don’t know, Hamilton Island is one of 74 islands that form the Whitsundays. It’s by no means a large island, taking only 40 minutes to drive around by golf buggie (the only mode of transport on the island for tourists). Rushing is not an option when maximum speeds reach 23 km/hour. :-)
The absence of constant hum of traffic noise contributes to the island’s glorious calm atmosphere - allowing the delightful songs of magpies and the bossy call of cockatoos to echo throughout. It was an absolute delight to wake up to nature’s symphonic orchestra of ocean waves gently breaking and the birds’ song calling in a new day.
It was the grounding I so badly craved without knowing the full extent of my desperate need.
The grounding with nature, and the connection with my inner wisdom allowed me to face and even enjoy Mother’s day the following week. Knowing that I won’t be a biological mother has slowly become a sad fact that I have come to accept.
And although I think I have come to terms with it, Mother’s day does bring a sad realisation that, not only won’t we have children; but we won’t have grandchildren either; and my sister and sister-in-law won’t be aunts to our children…and so it goes. The flow on impact leaves a quiet sadness not only for me but for everyone else in our family.
My husband, as always, recognised my need for affirmation on this day, buying me flowers as a gift from himself and our ever energetic furry bundle of joy…surprisingly though, the true sadness came when family members wished me a happy Mother’s day.
I fully realise that in our ever unpredictable world, motherhood is recognised as much more than a biological connection. Motherhood extents many wonderful, rewarding, nurturing and loving realms. However, I would be lying if I didn’t acknowledge that Mother’s day lunch was experienced with a mixture of joy (for my mother and sister), but with a prolonged pang of sadness for me. It was lovely to receive flowers from my husband and fur baby but my mother and sister received loving acknowledgement and gifts from their children.
Having had a blissful holiday, where not only I connected back with my inner self but also with my husband in such a wonderfully soothing way, allowed me to gently (however sadly) sail through Mother’s day.
It dawned on me (completely unplanned), that when we are caring and nurturing with ourselves and we are genuinely connected, that feelings; awareness of sadness and possibly difficult situations, are better dealt with than if we are charging through life at our usual frenetic pace.
Happy musings xxx