Well here we are, just over half-way through chemo treatment! It really does feel like a significant milestone and one to be proud of.
I often think if I could, what would I tell myself back in January just after diagnosis? There's so much I want to say and then there are times where finding words to describe the events of this year so difficult.
I decided to write myself a letter every 3 months, looking back on this enriching journey I find myself on.
So here goes:
Dear me, don't be afraid! Although the shock is like nothing you've ever felt the dark days will pass.
Don't panic - just breathe! The days will get easier, and less scary. The multitude of doctor's appointments will become part of normal life. They will be your routine and anchor for the months to come.
Trust your intuition, it's saved your life when you got the lump checked and will continue to keep you safe if you listen to it.
Feel all the emotions going on inside you. Don't block anything out - it's all there to be savoured and learnt from.
And what life lessons you will learn? There will be days when you will feel that this illness is your greatest teacher yet, and in turn, you will have the opportunity to teach others through this experience. So what will you learn over the next 3 months?
Well, you will learn that:
above all else your strength, grace, and dignity are gifts you never knew you had;
there is an abundance of love from family and friends for you;the kindness of strangers is a beautiful gift;
the people you least expected are the ones that have been touched by you being ill, and their responses and love are truly fantastic;
looking back on life 6 months before diagnosis, life worked out just perfectly to then support you through this journey;
believing in life, the gods, and all the beautiful energy in the world is something we tune out of all too often;
it's possible to walk into your chemo treatment with a smile on your face;
being present for life shows you what's really important - and it certainly wasn't all the silly things you spent time worrying about;you are truly blessed!
This journey that you're on will bring you closer to your husband, family (near and far), and people you would never otherwise meet.
In time you will smile more often than you'll cry. Now is the time to stop stressing and believe that everything will work out fine.
You are much loved and cared for - now just relax, look after yourself and learn what's truly meaningful to you and life going forward.