As grateful as I am that April draws to a close, and mindful May peeks around the corner, I find myself in a curious state of being.
As you may have already picked up from previous blogs, I quite liked to control things/ life/ work - at least I thought I was controlling things somewhat.
Part of me still does, but nowhere to the frenetic pace I used to.
I'm now feeling in a more peaceful place. A place where my body generally feels pretty healthy, my mind fairly calm, my spiritually quietly solid, and my curiosity rampant!
Like most people (and I realise I'm making a significant generalisation), I used to daydream. Generally, when I was bored or uninspired by work. Life was about working, paying off the mortgage and planning for the future. It all comprised all lists, and goals that deep down had nothing to do with my soul, my being or life - let's be honest.
Lately I've noticed that I've given myself the permission to talk a lot more about the future. I'm slowly becoming more social with family and friends. My diagnosis and treatment had put all daydreaming on hold.
And although my daydreaming of old sounds fairly uninspired, I believe daydreaming is important - if it helps you find what makes your heart sing.
Curiously, my daydreaming is now not all about work or finances.
Daydreaming is slowly and tenderly emerging, guided by feelings. I catch myself in small, tantalising glimpses.
what it would be like to write full-time
reaping the rewards of a veggie patch - even if it's from a relative small backyard
what it would feel like to write a book
will I get a chance to live by the sea
where will we travel to and how far.
It struck me that I'm craving feeling grounded and seeking a calming, deeper connection to the earth.
The me of old would've let logic lead the way...surely it's smarter to be practical and consider responsibilities and obligations! We all know where that got me. So now in tentative steps, as always,
write more and more
grow more veggies
write a book - however long it might take, the process will be a joyous one
visit the sea - we don't have to live by it to reap its calming bliss
travel more - it doesn't have to be far to enrich the soul
Above all, I will inspire my life with moments, people and feelings to make my heart sing - it is when our hearts sing that we will truly find ourselves, happiness and peace.
Happy heart singing everyone.
*this photo was taken in Newcastle NSW in 2016