NEW NORM

Ok, so I didn't keep up with the blog as much as I thought I would, somehow freehand writing was easier and more personal.

Two days ago was the second anniversary of my diagnosis, and aside from a minor wobbly moment by yours truly, it was a pretty normal day...which felt like an awesome achievement.

I didn't want it to consume me and it didn't - and for that, it felt like life is a step closer to settling into a new norm.

There have been a couple of curved balls along the way (in the form of suspicious moles), which caused a great deal of anxiety. Once I got the all clear, there was a general sense of sadness, acknowledging that curved balls are bound to happen along the way - not all health related I'm sure!

The quest for a new norm has baffled me in a number of ways. I thought it would be so easy to find a new purpose in life - surely it wouldn't all go back to the way it was before the diagnosis. The reality is, life goes on and we all have responsibilities - I have found that my new norm has come in the form of small but meaningful changes.

Being easy on myself has by far been the biggest change - and my most meaningful lesson.

I'm more mindful and aware of my health, and what I need each day to be good to myself...I lapse like everyone, but I try not to beat myself up about it.

Yoga and meditation are a great help (I'm slowly building up my personal practice) - but it's been our new puppy that's been one of the best and most nurturing things I've done for myself and our family....but more on that another day.

I write a lot more now (ok, not blogging) but I've started writing my book, and am writing some articles - whether any of it will ever be published I don't know...I hope it will, I'd love it if it helped someone.

I'm exploring how else I may be able to help others.

I realise that my life is not "all or nothing" - my corporate job provides me with a great deal of support in many ways, but maybe the way I help others isn't in the form of a full-time job.

It excites me that I may be able to do a number of different things to help people - there are days that frustration fuels this excruciating burning desire to do everything now.

Subconsciously, knowing that life is a privileged not a given right and now I want to make it count :-)

xxx